Happy Menstrual Hygiene Day!
Estimated reading time: 9 Minutes
Happy Menstrual Hygiene Day everyone wooooo!!
In honour of Menstrual Hygiene Day 2020, I want to add my voice to this stunningly important conversation and celebrate this occasion which should be a national holiday, in my not so humble opinion.
I didn’t want to simply write another post educating people with periods on how to manage their periods. This, of course, is extremely important and does not happen enough all over the world, from developed nations to underdeveloped nations. But I believe one of the main obstacles and reasons why periods aren’t talked about and why period education is abysmal world over is because of stigma and a strangeness associated with periods and an unwillingness on the part of those without periods (and also with for that matter) to get involved and support those with periods.
On that note, I want to provide a some general advice to everyone on how to support people with periods in an attempt to knock down those walls and open up communication. From there we can move to a place where periods are normal and period education is normal. No one thing will make lives easier for those with periods but garnering simple everyday support from regular folks interacting with their friends, wives, girlfriends, daughters, trans men etc. will go a long way to contributing to this goal.
So, this is for parents, bosses, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, anyone, any regular human who is bound to know someone with a period; this is for you. Just because you don’t have a period doesn’t mean you don’t play a part in this world. Quite often, it’s the people without periods making the rules, both legally and societally, for those with periods and this needs to stop. And if it can’t stop, then at least I try to show you how to do a better job at it.
Parents:
I remember being a small bit awkward telling my mum I got my period for the first time but I know there are others who were so much more embarrassed. Such a normal thing like periods shouldn’t make one recoil with embarrassment. As parents, you should talk to your children, both boys and girls, have conversations around the house, make sure they’re prepared to get a period and prepared to live with someone who gets a period. Consider having a period party to celebrate your child getting their first period and make it something to celebrate and welcome, not something to be whispered about as if it’s somehow shameful. Actively support your partner’s period to be an example to your children of how to effectively manage it and how they should treat their future partners with periods. And try to talk about periods in a positive way. It can be easy to delve into the negative aspects which I completely understand but there are so many positives of periods which should be spoken about in equal measures.
Employers:
I’ve been in countless situations when I’ve been in work and I’ve felt like I’ve had to hide my pain and hide the fact that I was on my period. I’ve had to plough on with my work and put a smile on my face despite being in intense pain. It would be one thing if I was afraid of losing my job for missing a day or being slower than usual or something to that effect but luckily that has never been the case. I felt I had to hide it not out of fear but out of shame and the internalised unimportance of my situation. There’s the back and forth dilemma in my head between wanting women to progress in the workplace and not wanting to get special treatment for being a woman but wanting everyone to know that women go through this all the time. Yes, periods are different for everyone but for many, they’re horrific. If I had a horrific migraine or broke my leg, no one would expect me to work and I wouldn’t be embarrassed about asking for time off. But because it’s our periods, we think it’s somehow different when this is an intense pain I am guaranteed to have every month. If anything, it should be more acceptable to take time off for your period as you can plan ahead to have your work done in time for it to come.
‘Menstrual Leave’ is a tricky subject. They tried to introduce it a few years ago in Italy and it failed. There are concerns on the one hand that it sets women back and makes having periods out to be some kind of disease or ailment. Women are already discriminated against for getting pregnant and held back professionally. What’s to stop an employer using an employee taking menstrual leave as a reason not to hire them in the first place and then not promoting them or giving them raises once they are in? Very little.
On the other hand, having an official option to take menstrual leave should we need it legitimises our pain and probably allows us to be more productive in the long run. I know for a fact that when I am in pain and more emotional than I would ordinarily be, I’m not as productive as I am normally am.
Menstrual leave in and of itself doesn’t hold women back; people’s attitudes to it do. I would encourage employers to be more empathetic to people with periods and what we go through and do not punish those who need to take a minute.
Schools:
As someone who told teachers I felt sick instead of saying outright that I was in such pain from my periods, I know the importance of removing stigma. And that was an all-girls school; I can’t even imagine how I would have acted in a mixed-sex school. I won’t even go into the importance of education on menstrual matters in schools; let’s just say it’s important. But what’s as important is fostering a culture where girls can speak openly about this especially when they may be getting their period for the first time and the embarrassment might be at an all-time high. It’s extremely important to have correct toilet facilities with privacy and proper hygiene equipment. Furthermore, the needs of trans boys with periods need to be seriously taken into consideration as well whether that’s in an all-boys or mixed school.
Partners:
It should go without saying that if you are in a relationship and you love your partner, you should support them during their time of the month. This can be anything from the cliché of getting them chocolate and a hot water bottle to simply leaving them alone. You need to be more understanding that their moods and hormones might be a bit all over the place and be accommodating (obviously without being trampled on.) It should also go without saying that people are extremely different and while some are more sexual during their periods, others are not and you need to respect this. Do not put pressure on your significant other to engage in sexual activity ever and definitely not during their period.
Furthermore, even if you’re just having a one night stand with someone and they suddenly get their period or they already have it or whatever the situation may be, periods are nothing to be disgusted at and only mean people would shame someone for having it. One insignificant comment, to you, could stay with someone for years to come and make them ashamed of a perfectly natural bodily function. Please be considerate and educate yourself and realise that periods are perfectly normal and the reason why humans exist.
Everyone:
Everyone can contribute to ending period stigma. You can say happy Menstrual Hygiene Day to your friends!! You can share things online. You can do any of the above and just support the people in your life while they have their period and at every other time of the month – the period is a whole cycle and we are affected in different ways at different times of the month, not just when we’re bleeding. You can volunteer or donate to charities that help with period poverty. You can simply spread around the fact that periods are normal or call out people if they make a negative or ill-informed comment about menstruation.
Extremely important thing to mention which goes for employers and schools as well as every other building with a toilet and toilet paper – supply period products in your bathrooms! You wouldn’t expect people to bring their own toilet paper to the bathroom. Why do you expect them to bring their own period products? Moreover, arguably, you need less period products than toilet paper because people only have their period once a month and it’s likely to be only 50%, give or take, of your workforce that need these products – you can afford to supply them.
People often talk about invisible illnesses and there are many. Periods are not an illness but they come with a pain that people often underestimate and undervalue. Period pain is real and simply understanding that fact will go a long way to being a good period ally.
Period stigma is a massive issue and hinders women all over the world. Where I’m from, it makes my life uncomfortable and makes me feel embarrassed. In Nepal, they put menstruating women in muddy, unhygienic huts until they stop bleeding. Many die in these huts. So, the stigma around periods is far-reaching and serious. The basic message of this post is just to be there for people. Believe them. Be accommodating. Be patient. Be understanding. Think outside yourself. Know that your experience isn’t the only one. Just because you don’t get periods or don’t suffer from cramps doesn’t mean these aren’t real issues for other people. Support and awareness are especially important right now because due to the coronavirus pandemic, people are home together and in close quarters. People need support from family/community members in managing their periods and how lucky are you that you’ve read this post and now know how to support those very people! Go forth and conquer woo!